Stress Signals: Don’t Fix the Symptom — Follow Them

We often get worried when we notice certain behaviours — in ourselves or in our children. Maybe you’re suddenly eating more than usual, reaching for snacks you don’t even want. Or maybe your child keeps twirling her hair or chewing on her sleeves. These signs can make us feel like something’s wrong. But what if they’re not the problem? What if they’re the message?

These visible behaviours are the body’s way of saying: “I’m stressed.” And that’s actually a gift. It means you can act on it early.

Research supports this. Antonio Damasio’s theory of somatic markers shows that our bodies often know we’re in distress before our minds do. We don’t always say, “I’m stressed”, but our sleep changes, our eating patterns shift, we get fidgety. These are clues. If we learn to read them, we can respond with curiosity, not fear.

This connects to what we said in this article about oxytocin, the love hormone. Stress doesn’t get better in isolation. It gets better in connection. When we are seen, heard, and supported, oxytocin helps regulate the body and calm the brain.

So when you notice something — your own eating habits, or your child biting their nails — pause. Say to yourself or to them: “I see your behaviour is telling us something. Please talk. Let’s figure it out together.” That small invitation can change everything.

Stress is not the enemy. Ignoring the signals is. We don’t need to fix stress symptoms, but rather follow them.

And if those signals show up on the outside? Even better. You get a head start. These behaviours aren’t flaws. They’re invitations to connect, to understand, to grow stronger together.

Let’s say yes to these signs. Yes to noticing. Yes to talking. And yes to the oxytocin recipe that helps us face stress, not alone, but side by side.