A Pat on the Back. A Punch in the Gut — Leadership That Runs on Intermittent Reward and Punishment

We don’t get addicted to reward. We get addicted to hope. In the 1950s, psychologist B.F. Skinner discovered that when pigeons were rewarded randomly — not every time, just sometimes — they didn’t lose interest. They became obsessed. It’s called intermittent reinforcement, and it’s the most addictive behavioural loop ever studied.

You’ll find it in gambling. In marketing. In leadership. And yes, in parenting too.

In toxic work environments, reward shows up inconsistently: a pat on the back here, vague praise there. Enough to keep people hoping but not enough to make them feel safe. That’s intermittent reward, a reward and punishment style leadership.

But there’s a darker layer: Intermittent punishment. One day, you’re praised. The next, publicly criticised. Then ignored. Then rewarded again.

Nothing is predictable — not the praise, not the feedback, not the fallout. You never know where you stand. And that doesn’t make you compliant. It makes you work 16-hour days.

You check and double-check everything. Because you don’t know from which angle the next attack will come — and you’re determined not to be caught off guard.

As my colleagues used to say: “A pat on the back doesn’t make up for a punch in the gut.”

And when this pattern becomes culture, there’s often a name for it: The Dark Triad of Leadership — narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy. These terms were first described in organisational psychology by Paulhus and Williams, and explored in depth in Snakes in Suits by Babiak and Hare.

Narcissistic leaders demand admiration, but react with outrage or withdrawal when they’re not the centre of attention. They expect loyalty without accountability. They take credit, deflect blame, and rarely take feedback well.

Machiavellian leaders manipulate with strategy. They withhold information, pit people against each other, and use charm like a scalpel. They don’t manage — they manoeuvre.

Psychopathic leaders lack empathy altogether. They don’t lose control — they calculate. And they use fear as a precision instrument. What’s most unnerving is their calm while others unravel.

Want loyalty? Lead with clarity. Want performance? Offer safety. Because while unpredictability might deliver short-term results, real leadership creates psychological safety.

And that produces the bottom line that lasts.