The courage to let children become themselves

Speaking words of wisdom: Let it be

“Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.

Speaking words of wisdom let it be.”

The Beatles, 1970

When your child is born, you receive a seed. Maybe it’s a lemon tree seed. Maybe an orange. Maybe a pine seed. Or a mieliepip. You don’t get to choose.

But you do get to watch.

To stand in amazement as this being from the future grows into itself, right in front of you.

If your child starts as a lemon seed, they will grow into a lemon tree.

Not an orange tree.

If you expect oranges from a lemon tree, you will miss the wonder of the lemons.

No matter how carefully you prune, water, or advise, the nature of the tree is already there.

They may become the boldest, brightest lemon tree imaginable.

But producing oranges? Never.

We forget this. We think parenting is about shaping, directing, producing results.

But the child isn’t yours to build. It’s not a project. It’s a person. A mystery in motion.

They don’t learn from what you say. They learn from what you do. Your habits will shape theirs.

If you’re a workaholic, you can’t expect a well-balanced child. If you don’t eat healthy, you can’t expect your children to eat healthy.

Live what you want them to learn. That’s how it works.

“Their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,

which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.”

Kahlil Gibran

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”

Carl Jung

Your child is already on their way. They will chart their own course. They are that other person from the future and they will decide what they want. You are one of their resources.

Your job is to be available, present, and real.

So watch with wonder. And wisely, just let children be.