What The Little Match Girl Teaches Us About Resilience

The Little Match Girl is a story, a fable, a fairy tale. It was written by Hans Christian Andersen in 1845. I read it when I was a little girl. It was the saddest thing I had ever read.

After the first time, I never wanted to see the book again.

There’s a girl in the cold. Barefoot. Hungry. Holding a bundle of unsold matches.

She knocks on all the doors, but nobody opens for her. So she does the only thing she knows: she lights a match.

In the glow she sees a warm stove, a meal, a Christmas tree, her grandmother. She lights another. Then another. Then another.

By morning, she’s dead. Frozen. Alone. Curled in a corner. Smiling.

This is what we do when we’re trying to survive something we feel powerless to change.

We self-soothe. We light emotional matches — a snack, a scroll, a show, a story — anything to make it feel a little better. And for a moment, it works. But nothing changes.

We keep rescuing ourselves emotionally, and so we stay the victim. Because if we never move, if we never act, if we never ask — we stay stuck. Comfort without change isn’t strength. It’s stillness.

Some things really are that bad. Some clouds don’t have silver linings. Not everything can be reframed.

And it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means it’s time to act. You don’t need another match.

You’ve been surviving — and that’s been heroic. But now it’s time to move! You need a plan, a person, a coach, a real way forward.

Resilience isn’t how many matches you can burn. It’s knowing when to stop surviving quietly — and start reaching for something real.

Don’t die in the story. Wake up. And move!