Stuck in the Middle With Me: The Fundamentals of Change

Change is the act or instance of making or becoming different. This is the first in a three-part series about what change really feels like.

This post is about the middle — when you’re still managing your current life while already building the next.

Facilitating change — for individuals and organisations — has always been part of what I do. It’s work I know well, and I’ve seen again and again that good change management, when done right, works.

But this time, it’s mine. And it’s harder than I expected. Being in the middle of change myself — not leading it, not designing it, but living it — reminded me what it actually feels like.

It’s not about rethinking the framework — it’s about what it feels like when it applies to you.

If you’ve ever been in an organisation migrating from one system to another — say, Oracle to SAP — you’ll know this phase. You’re not in the new system yet, but you’re already building it. Meanwhile, the old system still has to run. Deadlines. Users. Reports. Everything.

I’m moving countries. The old life still needs attention. The new one still needs building. So I’m running one system while launching another — and emotionally, mentally, logistically, it’s a lot.

And it touches everything — your rhythm, your identity, your sense of control.

A lot of what you’re losing is material — routines, structures, possessions. They took effort. They worked.

And now you’re giving them up. Everything from recycling electronic waste to deciding whether to keep your child’s medals or not. That’s what makes this part so heavy.

I feel split. Foggy. Unmotivated. There’s so much to do, but it’s hard to move forward when you’re still carrying the weight of what you’re letting go.

Change theory calls this phase the Neutral Zone — the confusing, uncomfortable space between letting go and moving forward. It’s not just logistical. It’s psychological, emotional, physical.

And it’s exhausting.

What actually helps in this space isn’t motivation — it’s structure. Micro-routines. Simple tools. Clear lists. Not because they solve the big questions, but because they hold the day together while the questions remain unanswered. You can’t think your way through the Neutral Zone. You have to build your way through it — one working piece at a time. It’s also the space where your identity changes — while you’re still living one life, building the next, and grieving what you’re letting go.

In personal change or corporate transformation, it’s easy to underestimate what people are really giving up. William Bridges reminds us in Managing Transitions of the fundamentals of change: “People don’t resist change. They resist loss.”

Ambiguity isn’t the enemy — you don’t wait for the storm to end; you learn to dance in the rain.