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“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom.” - Lao Tzu
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The Bully Within: Let’s Look At Self-talk
The voice in your head isn’t always a mentor — it’s often a bully. This post explores how internal roles like Victim, Rescuer, and Persecutor shape self-talk, and how to shift them using the Empowerment Dynamic for true inner transformation.

Frieda van der Merwe
Jul 17, 20252 min read


Rethinking the Drama Triangle — How Internal Roles Become External Patterns
The Karpman Drama Triangle doesn’t just play out in relationships — it lives in your mind. This post explores the Internal Drama Triangle and how to shift from self-criticism to self-compassion using David Emerald’s Empowerment Dynamic. Real change begins with kindness — to yourself.

Frieda van der Merwe
Jul 17, 20252 min read


A Pat on the Back. A Punch in the Gut — Leadership That Runs on Intermittent Reward and Punishment
We’re not addicted to reward — we’re addicted to hope. This post explores how intermittent reinforcement and toxic leadership patterns, including the Dark Triad, create instability and burnout, and why true leadership is built on clarity and psychological safety.

Frieda van der Merwe
Jul 17, 20252 min read


The System Wrote the Script: Why the Identified Patient Isn’t the Obstacle In Finding Healing
Systems shape us long before we’re aware of them. This post explores how families and environments silently script our behaviours, roles, and expectations—and how recognising the system’s influence is the first step toward rewriting the script.

Frieda van der Merwe
Jul 17, 20252 min read


It’s the Circle of Life: The Psychology of Systems
Systems shape who we become. This post explores how early environments and group dynamics influence mental health—and what makes a system healthy: openness, shared load, flexible roles, and real feedback. Part of the From Blame to Balance series.

Frieda van der Merwe
Jul 17, 20252 min read


’’It’s all coming back, it’s coming back to me now.’’ Why We Fall Into Old Patterns — Even After Healing
Healing doesn’t always stick — not because you failed, but because the system around you stayed the same. This post explores how lasting change requires not just personal growth, but a shift in the patterns and relationships that surround us.

Frieda van der Merwe
Jul 17, 20252 min read


It’s More Than a Feeling: What your nervous system is really asking for — and why you need your daily dose
Your nervous system needs nourishment too—through movement, learning, sensory input, and rest. This post explores how to recognise and honour your personal “daily dose” to support clarity, balance, and wellbeing.

Frieda van der Merwe
Jul 17, 20252 min read


Stuck in the Middle With Me: The Fundamentals of Change
The middle of change is messy. You’re still living one life while building the next. This post explores the Neutral Zone—where identity shifts, loss hits hard, and structure keeps you grounded through personal or organisational transformation. We explore the fundamentals of change.

Frieda van der Merwe
Jul 17, 20252 min read


You Keep Falling Short… Aim Higher
If you keep falling short, it may not be failure — it might be boredom. This post explores the Overqualification Effect, Flow Theory, and why aiming higher could be the key to renewed growth, confidence, and challenge.

Frieda van der Merwe
Jul 17, 20251 min read


We Will Take On The World And Win — When Two Givers Meet
Not all relationships are equal. Some drain you, others build you up. Inspired by Adam Grant’s “Give and Take,” this post explores how givers, takers, and matchers shape connection — and why, when two givers meet, the results are transformative.

Frieda van der Merwe
Jul 17, 20252 min read
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